Thinking of how much I miss you would hurt too muc.

I’d rather not think about it at all.

Absorb everything here,

Tell you about it.

I’ve visited 7 bookstores

And absorbed every shelf,

I rode the tube to Southbank

And wandered aimlessly. I’ve taken too many photos:

4,396 to be exact,

Just trying to fill the void of you.

Imagining you here…

I just can’t do that.

It hurts too much to imagine your beautiful face

Lighting up at the old architecture and views from the London eye.

I can’t describe how badly I want to hold your hand,

As I walk with you around these parks that I have grown so fondly of.

Next month will be worse,

Without this big, beautiful distraction.

I’ll be “back to reality,”

Except you won’t be there with me.

I’ll be floating around Ohio,

While you’re 1,100 miles away on the edge of Florida.

Sure, you’re 4,400 miles away now,

But at least I have this big, beautiful distraction.

I need this—

This big, beautiful distraction.

Without it,

My heart is far, far too empty,

Without you here.

From the Writers’ Kitchen, 2018-2019.